Dude For Sale!*

It has finally come to this.

It started about a month ago. Dude's schedule got all out of whack, which for an almost three year old it means everything gets turned upside down. For the parents, it's even worse.

In Spring, we had a huge amount of rain and thunderstorms - to the point we started calling it monsoon season. The thunder scared him to death, which would always appear at either nap time or night time. He lost a lot of sleep and became very, very over-tired. Then he started to not sleep at all due to his over-tired, toddler energy level.

Then, I started to lose more hair.

It all came to an ugly head on Tuesday night. He screamed from 10:30 pm until 1:00 am. Blood curdling screams. Nails on chalkboards times 10. All he wanted was for Mommy to come into his room. In the same manner a newborn screams when set down in the crib in need of attention.

We didn't want to keep running in there, thinking that if we did he'd just keep it up in order to keep us running in there. We were hoping he'd eventually cry himself to sleep or at least calm himself down. That did not happen.

At around 12:45 the meal ticket went in and gave him holy hell (in the most Mommy of ways). Ten minutes later, it was my turn. He then went to sleep. By almost 1:30, we had calmed down enough to fall asleep.

Wednesday morning no one was happy.

So, yeah, he's for sale. Seeing how we can't bring him back to where we got him from (there's a no return policy), we have decided to sell him. There really is no other option at this point.He's real cute once you get past him being an non-stop, over-tired toddler. Also, he's a great chic-magnet! He just no longer fits in with our lifestyle. A lifestyle that does require sleep on occasion.

Paypal accepted!

*disclaimer: if anyone who actually thinks I'm selling my kid seriously doesn't know me. :)

Capt. Bottomless and The Amazing Willie

It all started here. Life kind of got in the way, and so now we are, for about the past month and a half, pursuing potty-training with much more enthusiasm (more so with an overwhelming desire to not have to purchase diapers anymore).

Well.... Dude has the concept/basics down. He still is required to have a containment system on for naps and overnight, but otherwise he's got his Diego undies and anything else we can wrestle on him.

What we have noticed is, like probably most three year old boys, he will cry wolf while trying to nap.

• Dude: Daddy, Daddy, the pee-pee's are coming!!!! I have to go potty! The pee-pee's are coming!

Dad walks upstairs, yet again....


• Me: Ok Dude, let's go try.....


• Me: Ok Dude, make the pee-pees come out.


• Dude: oh Daddy....their sleeping....

Insert head into wall.

On the plus side, he will say when he really does have to go - other than nap time. But he will go - and take off everything below the waist - and then come out to tell the entire world what he's done. Bottomless.

Now, the truly funny part does not come with Darth Punkin telling everyone that Dude forgot his Diego undies, or the fact that he has his willie out, but when he tells you that, yes he really did give his willie "a little shake".

None of this bothers him as long as someone will help him wash his hands.

Very Crazy Weekend!

First off, Thursday night as we were going to bed, Big June's (that'd be my grandmother) nursing home called. She had fallen and broken her hip. We knew it was only a matter of time it would happen. During her many stays in the hospital, she would refuse any form of physical therapy - therefore she lost her ability to walk. This did not convince her though, that she couldn't walk.

They kept a chair alarm on her wheel-chair, and a bed alarm on her bed. She figured out how to either disable them or remove them completely. Then she'd make her mad dash for the T.V. room. Not this time.

All said and done, she made it through surgery just fine; and I'll get an update when Dude and I go in the morning.

On to Saturday! Non-stop driving/parties. One of the women who works with the meal ticket (my wife :D), was having a party for her son who is about Dude's age. Great time, great food (lots of authentic Spanish stuff), and of course we could only make an appearance there. Stayed for about 45 minutes, and then back in the car.

Had to get to party number two. The meal ticket's nephew was having a graduation party. This one was much closer to our home, which is on the far side of the middle of nowhere. Lots more good food. Ice cold Coronas!!!!! And some really amazing black bean dip.

The kids had a blast in the pool, so much so that I think Dude is overcoming his fear of the water. Then it was on the the living room where they had put together a slide show of John (the nephew/grad.). The best part of this was when they came to a picture of John and my wife - when they were both much younger - Darth Punkin just pipes up and says in the cutest voice "is that you Mommy?"

The whole room just goes "awwhhhhh......" It was really one of those great moments.

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!!!!!!!!! Two very exhausted kids. Two even more exhausted parents. Once they finally went to sleep, it was on to Coronas and some great homemade guacamole (recipe to follow). Darth Punkin loved it! It was not completely unproductive. I did get half the lawn mowed, and the meal ticket got a lot of stuff done in the gardens - with the help of the kids (pre-nap) in their jammies of course.

Eventually, and inevitably, I had charcoals turning grey in anticipation to cooking some form of beef. The meal ticket had given the kids a bath, and was getting them ready to bed while I was grilling a nice hunk of London Broil! All loaded up with the same type of seasonings one would put into a pot of chili! Grilled up some broccoli crowns too - which came out really good.

Dinner was delicious, the conversation was great, and the clean up was easy!!! Great way to end a very hectic weekend!

Guacamole:

• 4 avocados - peeled, pitted, and cubed
  
• 1/4 cup red onion - finely chopped
  
• 1/4 cup red pepper - finely chopped
  
• 1/4 cup fresh cilantro - finely chopped
  
• 1/2 lime - squeezed, at the appropriate time
  
• 3 cloves of garlic - minced
  
• 1 tsp fresh ground black pepper
  
• 1 tsp kosher and/or sea salt
  
• hot sauce - your choice and your desired amount - I make my own (roasted jalapeños :D) and I like it hot
  

Combine all ingredients into a really cool bowl. Mash the living crap out of the avocados. This is the important part: DO NOT TASTE IT NOW!!!!!! Believe me, you will not want to stop! Cover and refrigerate. Leave the house. Go get some beer and nacho chips. Go to that really good beverage center on the other side of town - take your time. Come back, put beer in cooler, cover with ice, open one (if you're me you'd insert a lime at this point). Get guacamole, open chips. Say hello to supper.